Neurotic Fishbowl: After

 

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After

It's amazing how everything can change in just a matter of hours. Friday I was happy thinking how it was finally the weekend and I would soon be home with Steven, only to be confronted with reality when he got home and instead told me that our life together was over.

I feel like I've been stuck in a time warp. I've only had two serious relationships and now that mine with Steven is over I am back at my parents' house sleeping in my old bedroom, alone again.

I can't seem to find any meaning in anything and hours are just passing with nothing to move towards. I haven't eaten anything since Friday afternoon but I have no hunger for anything.

I know objectively that time will heal all wounds and that these feelings will pass, but I don't think I can do this again. Steven told me that he would never hurt me and he lied. All I keep coming back to is that nothing lasts forever and everything is a lie. Why should I even bother with men and relationships since they're doomed to end some day?

Since I've lived with Steven in his condo (no longer ours now), I have three years worth of stuff at his place that I'll need to get. I also have Bella, my cat, but I can't get her since my parents have a dog and Russell, my brother, is allergic to her. Steven swore that he would take care of her until I could come get her, but I realistically can't see a time in the next few months when that will even be possible. I miss her terribly.

The worst part of this break-up is that Steven did things like taking my garage and gate openers and moving his money from the place that he kept it. Like he expected me to do something - steal his money or his car or something like that. He must not have known me at all to think I would do something like that.

I want to thank everyone who has sent me an e-mail or left a comment here. It's good to know that people care about you though it's hard to find solace when the one person who was supposed to love you no matter what finds that they don't want you in their life any longer.

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Comments

Oh, Kymberlie. I'm so sorry.

.: Natalie said on November 16, 2003 03:52 PM :: link it :.

Kymberlie, I am so sorry and I know what it is like to start again. Take the time you need and eat something when you can. We are all thinking of you. ***hugs***

.: kat said on November 16, 2003 04:09 PM :: link it :.

Give yourself some time. After all he has obviously had some time to think about this move and to make plans regarding the decision. You have just found out about it less than 48 hours ago. You should tell him you need to take some time to make your own decisions now about your life and where to go from here. You have to find a place to live and I truly believe he should help you even with things such as the deposits and the moving expenses. After all you have been sharing for 3 years and you were the one that gave things up to move in WITH him so why shouldn't he bear some of the responsibility in getting you set up again. Difficult as it is and as much as you probably want to "just get it over and done with" stay strong and ask for what you deserve. You may not have been married but you gave a lot of yourself to this person for six years and that deserves some consideration.

.: daisy said on November 16, 2003 04:53 PM :: link it :.

Oh Sweetheart. I am so sorry. I wish I was there to give you great big hugs and make everything better. I know that it hurts, and I know what you are going through. and i wish this didn't sounds as trite as it seems to be. One day at a time sweet pea. one day at a time. we are here for you. *big squishy hugs*

.: munin said on November 16, 2003 06:34 PM :: link it :.

*HUGS* girlie! I'm sorry this happened and I wish there was something I could do to help.

.: Sara said on November 16, 2003 06:54 PM :: link it :.

Sorry to hear of the split. You will get back on the horse in time. Not all men are sh!ts (unfortunately too many are though.)

When you off him, use a shotgun. This might allay suspicion as they would expect you to use a more female weapon, like poison. Loosening a brake line is a good tactic if he drives on a freeway or mountainous road to work. Of course the best way would be how they killed Caretaker in the movie "The Longest Yard" an exploding lightbulb. http://www.letifer.org/acb/litebulb.htm

Disclaimer: In no way am I actually endorsing any of these procedures, these are strictly for daydream therapy.

.: Brian the Red said on November 16, 2003 07:34 PM :: link it :.

Yuck!! :( I'm so sorry this happened. Hang in there!!

.: Jennifer said on November 16, 2003 08:49 PM :: link it :.

I wish I had something wise and helpful to say. If you need an ear, I'm really easy to find online/email/IM or on the phone. *hugs*

.: Lisa said on November 16, 2003 08:49 PM :: link it :.

There's not much to say except for the normal cliches, but just look to your family and friends and let them help you out. {{hugs}}

.: Adelle said on November 16, 2003 09:12 PM :: link it :.

I've been thinking about you all day, and I have faith that you will come out of this stronger and better than ever before. Time. Give yourself time. You are a fantastic person - and I should know. Like you said ... siamese twins couldn't even spend as much time together as we have!

.: Christine said on November 16, 2003 10:30 PM :: link it :.

I'm so sorry :( Hope things turn for the best.

.: Bea said on November 17, 2003 02:19 AM :: link it :.

Hi Kimberly,

I wish I had some great words of wisdom to offer to you. :( But if you ever want to chat, IM me. (the handles are on my weblog.
((hugs))

.: Martie said on November 17, 2003 02:45 AM :: link it :.

your site appeared on mine via blogsnob. sorry to read about your breakup. i went through the same thing 3 years ago after 8.5 years. spend time looking after yourself. let your friends love and spoil you. take care and good luck. p.s. i absolutely adore the fishbowl picture - is it your own work?

.: susan said on November 17, 2003 05:42 AM :: link it :.

Kymberlie! I'm sorry to hear of your split with Steven and that you're having to go through this. I hope you eat something soon and are able to spend lots of time with your friends who care. (((hugs)))

.: liz said on November 17, 2003 08:01 AM :: link it :.

"Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened"
Actually, I've never found much comfort in that one.
{{hugs}}

.: Harmony said on November 17, 2003 08:12 AM :: link it :.

My deepest sympathies. Few words can express the feelings that you are going through, and even fewer can express how sorry I, we, all are. Warm wishes.

.: Jay said on November 17, 2003 08:39 AM :: link it :.

Not only does time heal all wounds, also time wounds all heels.
I'm sorry that you are hurting. Take care of yourself.

.: shell said on November 17, 2003 08:43 AM :: link it :.

I know that nothing anyone can say will help, but I hope it helps to know that we are all here for you.

.: MishMish said on November 17, 2003 09:51 AM :: link it :.

Kymberlie, my heart hurts for you. I'm so sorry this happened. You're in my thoughts. Everything will be okay, as trite as it sounds. Take the time you need for you. Take care of yourself. It sounds like you have an amazing network of friends at your disposal, but if you should need one more... give me a yell.

.: Melissa said on November 17, 2003 11:56 AM :: link it :.

oh man, not fun ... not fun at all. all i can say is "keep the faith" ... don't give up on all guys. please. we're not all bad. you will find somebody who treats you like you deserve to be treated.

but for now, take care of yourself ... try to put it past you.

at least you'll get my cds for the cd swap soon! :-)

.: tj said on November 17, 2003 02:14 PM :: link it :.

I'm so sorry!! I wish there was something that I could do. Just know that we are all here for you! {{{HUGS}}}

.: Ash said on November 17, 2003 02:19 PM :: link it :.

I'm so sorry, honey. I know exactly what you're going through. My husband dumped me last year after seven years of marriage. It's a living hell in the beginning, but things do work out. It just takes time and faith in yourself.
Keep your chin up and remember one thing...YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT.

.: Lisa said on November 17, 2003 03:30 PM :: link it :.

sending hugs your way. i went through the same exact thing a year and a half ago. it's tough but you'll get through it. i did!

.: reality said on November 17, 2003 06:44 PM :: link it :.

More hugs to you...I wish I had something wise to say...but then again...wise words usually don't help.

Take care...

.: Andrea said on November 18, 2003 10:19 AM :: link it :.

Oh Kimberlie. I know saying it doesn't change anything but I'm so sorry you had to be hurt like that. If you want to talk, you've got my email. I know it will take time, but I hope you're feeling better soon.

.: Rayne said on November 18, 2003 03:27 PM :: link it :.

Its weird how I even got to this blog...looking for a font redesnek and it brought me to your archives but you know how pisceans are....so inquisitive. I am so sorry that this happened to you six years is a long time to be in a relationship and then poof its gone. BIG HUGS to you....I hope your broken heart heals soon.
I will have to bookmark your blog and check on you to make sure you are ok.


Hugs from a fellow piscean and houstonian

.: PassionFish said on November 18, 2003 07:36 PM :: link it :.

Oh no, Kimberly, I'm so sorry to read about this. :-( {{{hugs}}} and strong thoughts for you.

.: Hey Lisa said on November 19, 2003 09:57 AM :: link it :.

I saw your link on another site. Sorry to hear about the breakup. Things may seem really difficult now but believe it or not they will get better. Hope you feel better soon.

.: Casidy said on November 19, 2003 10:51 AM :: link it :.

I'm so sorry Kymberlie. If you need some one to listen, I'm here for you. I've never had a serious relationship but I can only imagine how you're feeling. I'd give you a big hug if I could.

.: Carla said on November 19, 2003 11:21 AM :: link it :.

{{{{hugs}}}} and love to you, Kymberlie...

.: azure said on November 19, 2003 12:34 PM :: link it :.

I'm so sorry Kymberlie. {{{hugs to you}}}

.: Kathy said on November 21, 2003 09:24 PM :: link it :.

I went on line to ask help on getting my girlfriend back. She was my life. I believed in her with all my heart. Bang she dropped me at Thanksgiving. Also my birthday. She had not been dicorced outof a bad marriage little less than a year. She has a child of which I also love. Her ex hus was mean to her and a bad dad. I am sorry you are going through this. I swear I know the feeling. I feel as if my whole world has falen apart. I too have lost track of life. I too have not eaten. I have been a pathetic begger. why, why, why etc. She rolls her eyes and basically says too bad. I have made a fool of myself. Just try to keep your head up sweety. omehow things have a way of turning out for the best.

.: DAVID said on December 6, 2003 02:01 AM :: link it :.

You're too early! Come back at November 16, 2003 03:40 PM to see this post.

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