Neurotic Fishbowl: I Vant To Be Alone


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I Vant To Be Alone

Ever since I got back from Christine and Mike's wedding, still sick with kidney stones and lost that job interview, I've been really depressed (I'm sure the freaking barrage of gloomy weather and thunderstorms for the last two weeks hasn't helped. I know it's hurricane season and all but give it a rest already).

I've been ignoring phone calls, not returning e-mails, sleeping a lot, and just generally hiding out from the world. I've passed up invites to go out, turned down dates, and pretty much become a recluse (though I did go out Friday and Saturday night. Friday night was particularly nice because I got chatted up by both a major hottie and a professional football player).

I guess I just feel down about where my life's at. I feel like I'm never going to find a good job and don't even get me started about the impossibility of finding a great man. I don't really have much more to say than that (I know - whine, whine, whine), but it's an explanation of why this place has been so bare lately. Maybe I'll finally pull out of it, get a life, and start posting again.

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i know some days it feels like the world a crapshoot and that it just isn't worth getting out of the bed in the morning. but you will find all those things sweetheart, we'll be here for you every step of the way. even if it takes a million steps to get there. [which it won't]
lots of squishes. lots of hugs. and lots of love. just keep putting one foot on front of the other, ok hon.

.: munin said on June 20, 2004 07:22 PM :: link it :.

Cheer up, sweetie. Summer is here. Save the blues for the winter months. I went through the phase all winter long. It was miserable. Time to live now. Sounds like this weekend was a good boost.

.: Berry said on June 20, 2004 07:54 PM :: link it :.

xxoxoxox love you, feel better sweets. I am here for you!

.: LT said on June 20, 2004 08:57 PM :: link it :.

hang in there - it will get better! I think going to weddings make those feelings come to the surface more than anything and it sucks. I'm right there with you on the feelings of never finding the right man. Sigh.

.: eve said on June 20, 2004 10:33 PM :: link it :.

Sending supportive thoughts your way.

.: Lisa said on June 20, 2004 10:38 PM :: link it :.

I know EXACTLY what you are feeling right now, and it's ironic that I checked in and you posted this entry on this exact day. Two of my best friends married each other this weekend, and I was involved with a lot of the wedding planning. For a year and a half, we have focused on June 19, and to have it done and over with left me with such an empty feeling... I don't have anything to look forward to now, or so I feel. Not to mention the ex of mine that I have not gotten over was at the wedding and didn't even grace me with a hello... I came home from the wedding and cried my eyes out and slept all day today because being awake hurt too much and was a stinking reminder of how empty my life is now that this event has passed. And I am feeling the same things you are... questioning my job, when I will find even a barely decent guy to have fun with, why my ex ignored me all night, etc.
Bare is the way my life is feeling right now. I hate that you're in the same boat... Life shits, and it will get better, but I want to know when and how... Soon, please...
Hang in there...

.: Traci said on June 20, 2004 11:27 PM :: link it :.

If you're ever up for more retail therapy..give me a holla and I'll be your bitch..oh wait, is it the other way around? HEHE. Tiara Happy Hour here we come!!

.: smoores said on June 21, 2004 08:13 AM :: link it :.

I am right there with you. I keep doing my "flip-flop" between manic and depressive, and unfortunatly the flipping is getting just a little worse... and I feel badly when it comes out in my blog. But you know, if I didn't have that blog, I think sometimes I'd have a utter meltdown.
It's your blog... don't forget that, and also don't forget that every person here is here for you. :)

.: amber said on June 21, 2004 08:33 AM :: link it :.

I call it cave mode, it is good stop doing everything and work on yourself. I do it once a year for about a month, and that is useally where I get my big ideas :-)

.: Todd said on June 21, 2004 09:17 AM :: link it :.

I think you're going to be just fine! You are a wonderful, talented lady, and don;t you forget it! Hang in there!

.: Christine said on June 21, 2004 09:01 PM :: link it :.

I know I have said it a zillion times already, but you *really* need to get out there and temp. I think you will only start to find some happiness when you are productively working again. Speaking from experience of being someone that has worked side-by-side with you for several years, you are most happy when you can do a project and do it well. Go in as a temp, knock their socks off - and who knows, you might find the job of your dreams right there. Or you might not ... but you never know until you do it.

As for the man part, it seems like no one ever finds a good man until they completely stop feeling a need to find one. Then, out of nowhere, *poof*! He's there. Don't worry about it (I know, easier said then done) - you are fantastic just as you are. You don't need no stinkin' man!

Now head on over to Chez Tremoulet, and we'll make all your worries disappear...

.: Christine said on June 21, 2004 11:55 PM :: link it :.

I agree with Christine - do some temp work. It kept me sane for a year, gave me some experience and some income.

And I also hope the sunny weather comes soon and cheers you up a bit. {hugs}

.: cybertoad said on June 22, 2004 09:20 PM :: link it :.

I too hope the weather clears and gives you a pick me up. *hugs*

.: Deb said on June 22, 2004 11:15 PM :: link it :.

Chin up bucko. I'm rootin' for ya.

.: nastybastard said on June 23, 2004 09:04 AM :: link it :.

We love you fishy fish ... :)

.: irfan said on June 28, 2004 07:19 PM :: link it :.

Sometimes it helps me to think that one out of every two marriages end up in divorce. It also helps to think that I don't know any happily married couples. As far as relationships go, they are always temporary.

I think the best thing to do is to take things light and find happiness where you can.

.: Johnnie Walker said on July 6, 2004 05:37 AM :: link it :.

You're too early! Come back at June 20, 2004 06:59 PM to see this post.

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